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Jokingly, I said, "Didn't you go before we left?" I'm looking for a phone book, smart-ass. Do you want Italian or Chinese?"I responded with, "Hookers or food?" Food," She replied. "I wouldn't know how to expense the hookers."I countered, "How about 'Expert Witness?" And what am I to tell the auditors when they ask what area of expertise they had?" She asked playfully.I answered, "Forensic Knot Expert." You're kidding right?"I told her truthfully, "You could always try it. I read about this guy in Great Britain last year. He's a member of the International Guild of Knot Tyers & Forensic Science Society." Okay, I'll bite, how does that make a hooker an expert witness?"While taking off my jacket, I said, "Well, a couple years ago, before you joined the firm, I was on this case involving a man whose wife found out he had been seeing a prostitute. When I interviewed him, he told me the hooker he saw specialized in Bondage and Domination and that she knew more knots than a sailor did. I. . he was getting an oral exam though (cheesy I know, I’m sorry).The carpark at Birdie Beach always feels seedy, some people are just there for the beach, some are tourists that stopped because it is a beautiful spot, some are there for a surf, some are there to nude it up, some up there for casual sex and it feels like everyone there is trying to figure out why everyone else is there. Tim was already there and I parked next to him. Everyone made introductions and then it dawned on me that maybe Tim and Alex knew each other from school or something, they both grew up in the area. That might have been a fly in the lube but turns out the guys didn’t know each other.We grabbed all our gear and headed to the beach.The nude area of Birdie Beach is supposed to be the northern end where the creek flows out near the headland, but we headed south because the beach down there is always deserted. We walked for 20 minutes, maybe half an hour before we all agreed that we had a good spot. We walked.
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